• Exit bilateral and economically beneficial markets and deals
• Erect trading barriers and make it extremely hard and/or expensive to import
• Get rid of any amazing, caring, hardworking and multicultural workforce by encouraging media outlets to create a culture of them and us
• Make it very hard for businesses to recruit foreign labour by prioritising local non-existent or unwilling to work talent and workforce
• Prioritize untrained, underpaid, unwilling to work and unmotivated workforce so businesses are double guaranteed failure
• Let a government in that has no idea on how to run the country but specializes in self-promotion and making nonsensical deals with greedy cronies
• Trash the economy, restrict green investment and let inflation run wild
• Encourage all-in work from home, don’t answer enquiries and ‘let AI sort it’ culture, so staff can work remotely, and get to practice the subtle art of being unproductive
• Try to manufacture nationally to compete and make a hash of it due to eye watering raw material costs, restrictive chain supply flow and, make sure the product is designed by someone who knows nothing about design, mechanical engineering, manufacture and maintenance 
• Pre and post flimsy products launch, make sure the concept, design, engineering and implementation behind it makes no sense so it is guaranteed to fail and waste investors and customers money
• Setup an undedicated and careless sales, marketing, after sales and business development teams to make sure any chance of a product launch to succeed fails, then top up with a CEO and management team that is good at everything else but running a business
• Keep VAT on goods and services you are aiming to achieve net zero on
• Punish small to medium businesses with idiotic business and rent rates
• Encourage and support monopolies to eliminate competition so you are guaranteed maximum shareholders pay-outs at the detriment of users, the local community and the environment
• Annoy and waste time and money of your business relationships and partners
• And, for good measures, muddle everything extremely well so when it comes to accountability, no one is at fault except the ones that care who will end losing their jobs due to business closure or redundancy at worst or, face pay cuts

*Warning! This guarantee has a big dose of sarcasm.

A word of caution if this sounds familiar! 

If we carry on like this and do nothing, we are guaranteed to fail our net zero targets spectacularly and in business generally.

Act today by calling out poor practice and make accountability part of your daily ritual. Show care and respect, invite and encourage cooperation, collaboration, long-term friendship and relationships both nationally and internationally. Treat staff members concerns with respect and reassure them by making sure tangible action is being taken.

Most importantly join us today and be a hero for the planet by subscribing and following @CYCLEDELIK as if we do not act or speak for it, no one else will.

Start your amazing journey today as it is never too late! Be a planet and business success hero!

Comments are welcome especially the one thing you changed that has made a positive impact on your business and / or the business you work for? We love success stories 😉

Ours, we are doing the impossible to make sure the UK micro mobility market and the last mile delivery sector is a real success story by introducing amazing brands such as VUF Bikes, Butchers & Bicycles, Frog Bikes and CAGO to guarantee real, tangible, long term positive results and customer satisfaction.

DWP, the chamber of commerce, foreign affairs and investment banking should consider prioritising small to medium businesses pre-budget reviews and during bilateral agreements with international partners.

Pictured: Solutions to problems we face, painful GDP growth from the ONS, heavy traffic in West Kensington, Butchers & Bicycles school & nursery run solution, CAGO and VUF Bikes #Lastmiledelivery solutions to reducing congestion and air pollution, Shimano Europe Group